Springing Forth

Good works

2009-11-10T11:37:00.002+08:00

Our purpose in life is ‘good works’ or ‘acts of kindness’. Instead of trying to figure out what our purpose and calling is we should just simply get involved in helping people and our purpose, calling and gifting will easily be discovered.

-Phil Pringle

Thank you pastor! I see some connections between this and PK's sermon two weeks ago.

No One else like You

2009-11-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

No One Else Like You
By Planetshakers

My heart longs
For Your love
My soul thirsts
For Your touch

There is no one like You God
There is none like You

There is no one else like You
There is no one beside You
There is no one else like You
My God, my King
No one else

Nothing compares to You my God
No one could ever take Your love away
You're my King, my everything
Jesus

Sweat it out

2009-10-27T23:58:00.004+08:00

Hungry after a run! Actually I walked one-quarter of the route. The abdomen was painful. But I think a shower is more important now. After which, do some work and just sleep lah.

Oh wait, gotta prepare the songs for tomorrow's OPM! I almost forgot...

Last night the 4 of us had so much XLB that we swear no more XLB for us for the next six months. On the overall, everything was good. I think my cholesterol level shot up. I think too many calories for me last night. How can I achieve the ideal weight? The so-called ideal BMI. Come on, 8 kilos can't be too hard for me. Let's give it till end of semester 2. Let's break it down now...

I can do it!

A brief summary

2009-10-26T19:22:00.001+08:00

A million years since the last entry. Okay, 3 months, 1/4 of a year. A lot of things can happen in 3 months. =)

With that to start with, it was the FOP, church anniversary, FOC, new free iPod touch, stepping down from the 15th, joining of new committees, mid-autumn festival, lots of birthdays, overnight Kbox, spoiled phone which has now recovered, spoiled laptop which has been repaired, cb team outing, morning prayer meetings, and the most recent north face run + MM promotion. Thank you God for the numerous wonders that You have done for me. The end is clearly better than the beginning and I pray for Your grace to continue to cover me.

Having shifted back to the hall with new furnishings, it felt great. Yes very comfortable. Surely rooms look like rooms from the inside while the bungalow chalet look still remains on the outside. Nevertheless, school started with a bang! Now into the third year and graduation seems not too near actually. I'm still hoping to graduate in four years which can be uncertain actually. God, direct my paths. I wanna know where I'm heading.

With that, let's just end it off right now. Leaving soon for XLB Buffet! Eat heartily and come back later to mug mug.

All pictures taken from FB and that explains the quality. =\

Making God a part of your life

2009-07-22T13:05:00.001+08:00

Dr A R Bernard says we shouldn't get crystallised. Thrill is gone and you're simply going through the motion. Your heart becomes hardened. You left your first love - the place of revelation. You didn't lose it. Always pursuing a fresh revelation to prevent crystallisation.

I have no more confidence in my intellectual ability, investment philosophy, talents, time management, presentation skills... I acknowledge that indeed these are wonderful things that I have been able to exercise and blessed to have, but what I mean is that I no longer think I can achieve great and lasting success purely based on these attributes. The most important thing I need is the approval of God which would bring peace from enemies, open doors that would otherwise be shut and peace/joy which the world doesn't know of. I don't mean that I do not have confidence in what I am stating or making the correct decision. What I mean is that even with the above attributes, unless I am living by God's grace, wisdom and favour, I cannot be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath on a consistent basis. Sometimes during the past 3 years, when I think about the results that have been achieved, I feel quite scared because repeating it isn't based on a fixed formula but each time, it takes a lot of faith beyond these attributes.

Adapted from Xin Hong's blog

It takes faith and trust to believe in what you cannot do with your own strength, but to constantly depend on God's strength, which will bring you further to where you cannot imagine. It does not mean that one is weak. We are all living by God's grace and His grace is sufficient for us. Ultimately I don't wish to repeat my mistake of studying hard as though I really know what's happening and break down. The paper is on the following day, but here I am, pondering if a better solution is to get an MC to cover my absence instead. The new semester is almost starting. But yesterday at work, the struggle is still burdening me. When faced with obstacles, I have the same thoughts of 'Am I in the right line?' I need a breakthrough. I want to build my prayers upon the solid rock.

No longer I but Your will be done.

Blue Screen of Death

2009-07-22T12:16:00.000+08:00

Blue Screen of Death

Another fear of mine. This is a stop error. Whenever this happens, it doesn't give me any time to save my data. All my documents are unsaved, downloads stopped, and everything is gone. I mean somewhat like that. Since the previous reformatting, this problem didn't occur until a conversation with one of the bosses yesterday. He wanted to teach me on presentation skills using a software so I handed my USB drive to him to copy the software, mentioning the word 'bluescreen' as well for he feared that his computer has virus.

Okay. Here I am listening to my iTunes, surfing the web and closed down the presentation, tada! Bluescreen! After my 3 years of laptop warranty, I should just get a Mac next year. Educational rate anyway. Free iPod Touch, why not?

Good life

2009-07-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

I closed my first cold case yesterday! God is good to me.

According to the schedule I ought to be at CP, standing around at the atrium for roadshow. However I woke up this morning with a terribly aching body, could hardly sit still to finish my drama. After lunch, I plonked myself on the bed and began to watch the last 3 episodes of the Emergency Unit drama. Bliss. Hugging my pooh and watching my handsome boy. Sammul Chan (and Ron Ng.) =D

Ring ring. My boss called. Jess and Pri and Geoff and Eric won't be there today. HUH!? There seems to be no meaning in me heading down to the mall already. It's not that I don't trust myself but my product knowledge and all aren't enough for me to turn things around if I can't keep a customer. So he spared me. As in, since I'm aching all over and no one's going down, I could stay at home. But no, I didn't tell him I wanted to finish watching the drama. Haha! It's just coincidental.

Nothing is ever finalised. Even after looking at the schedule which looks just great to me, I received an e-mail several hours later to know one of them can't make it. After that started to call those who'll be on duty the following day to get them to come on both days. Aw. I never knew we'll have lack of manpower even on Saturday. It never occurred to me before. So while I'm typing the entry, Kel is bombarding my phone again. He says 'Thank You' to me several times this week and just now I told him 'You're Welcome'. So formal. Oh really? I thought it sounds alright to me. I'm polite by nature. =P

~~Ddddddddddd.~~ Need to design.
~~Eeeeeeeeeeee.~~ So many things that I wanna eat since I lost the ceramic pieces on my teeth.

Technology talks

2009-07-09T21:53:00.002+08:00

Starhub finally decided to revamp its website. I've always admired how user-friendly Singtel's site has been, and thought of how the green should do something about theirs. Just glad there's some positive changes at last. Been thinking of changing my phone ever since I changed it. Nah, just joking. I mean I hope to change to one with wi-fi, Qwerty keypad or semi-touch. A phone that is totally touch screen doesn't seem to appeal much to me because I like the feeling of keypads. They aid in my messaging since I message so much. Ripped open my bills last evening to realise my SMS has hit 2k for the month of June. That's why I love Starhub for its initiative to start having unlimited SMS for students ever since few years back. It's like the best thing ever that happened. =D

Another trend that is happening now is the younger generation turning to Apple. The online student promotion for Macbook and Ipod. A special bundle only for students. Aww how I love being a student. =) It's simply a privilege that is worthy to be happy about. YT got hers, LT is getting hers, Dot will get hers. Haha... I'm still loyal to my current laptop till it dies on me one day but please don't let the day come so quickly. Hehe. Apple gadgets can be so expensive, when something goes wrong. Meanwhile, I'll be happy with what I have.

Shall opt for an early night today, hopefully. It's been a long day out in town from lunch till dinner with ongoing entertainment. The members are playing L4D, with the speakers 'bang bang bang' away.

Oh last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAISHING! And congratulations to me for braces off!

Leadership

2009-07-08T19:36:00.000+08:00

An awesome leaders' meeting in the evening that impacted me. The topic was on leadership. Jesus understands how a leader like Him is in authority yet under authority. He is in charge of His disciples, but at the same time, God the Father has authority over Him. Delegated authority always reflects the character of the leadership. From the way He serves His disciples by acts of service - washing of feet, that is how He wants us to act as well. To be a leader, one must be a servant.

Only with the right attitude that we should exercise our authority in. With different personalities, people will be confused on the correct form of leadership. The ministry can be misrepresented then. So, how should we work things out?

Product must come with service to back it up. The product is the Bible. Service starts with us, and it is how we carry ourselves that reflect the attributes and character of the personality of the Bible. We are to be like Christ! Often, we don't understand why leaders make certain decisions. Think about it.

"I want it to be done this...that way."
You argued, "No, why?"

Sometimes, it can be hard to explain. This is where faith comes in. It takes faith to follow leadership.

It does matter how you act in getting the job done. Results and behavior really do go together hand in hand. It is so often that group work ends up with cursing and swearing one another even though they manage to get an A ultimately. What an unpleasant experience~ Also, fulfilling a task doesn't mean fulling a purpose. Treat people with care. When we promise to help out to buy birthday presents, get one that people like. Find out what are the needs and wants of the person. We must do what we have been entrusted with the right spirit and attitude!

Leaders are accountable for both results and behaviors. Neither one is not too important. Hence, leaders are there to guide. Develop a strategy to move people into the state where they achieve the most with the right behavior and attitude. Be persistent, never stop keeping on. Never give up on one unless all have known Him.

Foodie companionship

2009-07-08T01:55:00.000+08:00

It's been a wonderful Tuesday, getting renewed, recharged and motivated once again. First it was the day at CfE for my last compulsory class. We were taught how to approach people, how to face rejections, and also turning things from rejection to acceptance. Even if I end up in this line or not in the future, I guess the lessons learned are definitely valuable. (: Five of us had our lunch at the hawker centre which I still do not know the name of the place. I only know that they have yummy wanton mee, crayfish hor fun, char kway teow, bak chor mee and lots of vegetarian food there! It's not like I truly love vegetarian food but it happened to be 初一/十五 so the queues were longer than the usual. Being 21 is like an overgrown child but super young adult. The youngest age that one can be there. Everyone looks at you like they're so envious because I'm 21. A student who's 'fighting' for business with them who come from all walks of life. What I can say is that... Youth is capital.

After two long birthday celebrations, 5 of us went for supper at a coffee shop near NUS. No, not the same 5 girls! It feels a little unsafe for 5 girls to be out after 12 midnight even though it's Singapore. Guess the people were having a camp so they almost took over the entire place. Freshies. August. FOC is coming soon! Sidetracked. Prata and horlicks are simply delicious. I guess I haven't had prata in a long while. Even in school, I hardly step out to go for supper at night. Well, it is unhealthy and going back to hostel is a long journey without a vehicle. Great fellowship with the leaders(yes all leaders O_O) but happy that the plates are made of plastic and MW can't scratch the plates like the previous night. Haha... The squeaking sound makes my hair stand.

Check out the time and yes, it's so late already. It's time to get to bed or it'll be insanely insane tomorrow.

我知道

2009-07-05T21:50:00.001+08:00

BY2 - 我知道

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

这首并不是新歌，但也无所谓。两个年纪比我轻的女生所唱出来的心声，用了她们那甜美的歌声，听起来还真正！若我有她们那么会唱，那可是何等美好~ 可惜我天生就是没有甜美的尚子，天分也是假的。不过不要紧，因为上帝非常地公平，祂赏赐我才华，chorus board就是我能发挥我长处的一片天地. =) 播放歌词也很棒！哈哈！

正题其实是...与这首歌毫无关系=.= 我又没拍拖，哪里找来“爱”或“离开”。实际上，我一直期待有谈恋爱的一天，而且有一点过分期待的感觉。希望 - Hope. 对了，有希望活在世上就不会无所期望。愿我早日找到我的白马王子！=P 我知道这一天即将到来。来来来，现在就开始为我祈祷吧，我会感激不尽的 ^^

不过最近脑子里还真的乱乱飘...XX发来一封简讯，内容并不在这揭晓，只是有“sweet”这个字。对啦，于是我开始想入非非，以为追求者送上门了。但想了一想，似乎不太对劲，便打消了念头。XX与本小姐八字都还没有一撇，怎能这样就有所发展呢？我还是安分点儿，慢慢地等待“他”的到来吧。=)

A life to be lived out for

2009-07-05T18:18:00.000+08:00

Attempted to count down to start of a new semester, and that is 36 days. That is the number of days that I have to work harder in GE, go out with friends whom I said I'll go out with, catch up with my BS lessons, polish up myself on the overall as a person. I really like Ps Phil's post on this scripture from Luke 7:33-35 where he interprets it in this way:

A bad attitude grasps issues to justify itself...Don't be surprised when the good you do for one person is thought of as evil by another. Once again, it's impossible to keep everyone happy and for everyone to like especially if you're going to step out and do something great for God.

Yes I know I'm gonna live out my life for Him. Go on, life is abundantly great. There's no standard to meet except that is His.

Semester 1 09/10, I'm ready for you.

AYG moments

2009-06-30T16:17:00.004+08:00

A fanatic weekend zoomed past. For the past week, I hardly stepped into office. That equates to no peanut/kaya butter bread with warm barley for tea break. That Thursday I went for the SHP/TS Enhancement launch at CfE where after the launch Geoff took me to TB for lunch. Yummy traditional handmade fishballs and fishcakes, followed by tutu kweh. Finally satisfied that craving ever since few months ago. Yup. Dr Sng decided to give me an open date so that I need not go back to the hospital for the frequent outpatient checkups! PTL! It means savings for me. Saves time, saves money!

On Sunday it was the CB team outing. To be updated the next time. Love and unity in the team!

Reported to SIS on Friday morning and was treated to Mac breakfast. That is my 7th fastfood meal in the entire month of June. As sinful as can be, I gobbled up the food that's in front of me while waiting for the full dress rehearsal to start. On the first day, still feeling shy and awkward together with the crew. After two rehearsals, it's time to go home. That marks the end of day one(for me).

Saturday morning was the second day and that was also the AYG preview for the students. Last night was the actual AYG Opening Ceremony at SIS. At 6.30pm, we wondered if the stadium is going to fill up at all. Is it because of the rain, or the ticket pricing, or the tight police checks that held up the audience? The seats at the North gate were barely taken. Thank God. At 7pm, the show started with the emcee speaking, followed by the performances by primary, secondary, junior colleges and university students. Indeed, a youth event! The parade of athletes featured all the athletes where they walked down the aisle and it's their moment to showcase to the world. The new generation of athletes that is going to break records and do their best for all the games despite Influenza A virus. For every pyrotechnic, I jumped on my seat. =X

The night was awesome. It was my first time in the production crew, doing what I do once every two weekends in church, and getting paid for that. What's more, being surrounded by the coolest and warmest bunch of people. It was virtually Mac, Starbucks, mixed vegetables rice and roasted pork rice daily. Except for yesterday, the group went to seafood restaurant for lunch. I forgot to count the number of dishes served but I ate to my heart's content. (: Initially I thought we're going into food court, or the Japanese restaurant but we're going up to the top level. Thanks for the friendship forged over the three days, witnessing such a grand opening that's being broadcast live on TV!

God is so good to me. Thank God for the exposure to big events like this! It's just great!

Maturity comes at a price

2009-06-23T17:10:00.005+08:00

Holidays are the best time to learn. I already mentioned. 20+1 makes a huge difference. Maturity comes with heavier responsibilities. It feels more comfortable with the CB people. Over the past few weeks with the start of the Song of Solomon BS with PK and PT, the bulk of us serve every week, either on the BS day or main service. After the service I'll end up having lunch/dinner with the remaining gang.

Recently I went through a rough patch.
It's got to do with speech.
It's got to do with speaking with higher EQ.
It's got to do with how I can be molded by God to become more eloquent.

But tribulation produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character. And character produces hope. (Romans 5:3-5) Hope does not disappoint. Faith triumphs in trouble. If I keep on persisting and learn things right, the breakthrough is definitely coming. 3 months ago I had been reminded of this matter where I thought I've improved. The younger ones don't see anything wrong, but the older ones are usually the ones who correct. They seemed to be more vulnerable to what I say. It's hard to say 'I'm sorry'. But I thank God for the leaders in my life, whom God uses to teach me.

In the class that I attended yesterday, the trainer mentioned: People doing sales tend to get more offended and are usually the ones who make a big fuss in restaurants and such. When they are doing business, they want to please their customers until the product/service is accepted by their clients. That's when people say the best things in the world, no matter how distorted the truth might be. However back in 'real' life, they wish to be pampered by others when they're not working. Sounds true.

Starting to miss school and also hoping that holidays won't end right away. It's hard to make up my mind.

Birthdays in a row

2009-05-25T15:41:00.006+08:00

I like this pic!! But don't have the pong pong and pong pong pong...
This contains everyone!
Pic taken on 21 May at New York New York

Lovely Sports Class @ Isaac's party
Pic taken on 22nd May at Changi Rise

Lovely Chorus Board @ May's party (with three 24 May babies!!!)
Pic taken on 23rd May at Amaryllis Ville

Living for

2009-05-25T15:11:00.003+08:00

On last Friday, I met up with a friend. It's been almost a year since I last saw him. Actually I would say it's my first time meeting him ever since the same loud camp ended last year. Yes, there is fear contained inside me. But ultimately, I still went to meet up with him. It was just an hour meeting but it left me thinking what is going on in my life?

'Hey, you're so busy. Three SMSes in one minute.'

Yeah indeed. Three smses + three smses in the next four minutes. In fact I was feeling very bad from replying smses in the middle of a pre-lunch. What if the person's love language is 'quality time' and I just did the wrong thing by being busy. Kinda insulting for the opposite party eh. =\

'You told me in the SMS last night. Busy with meeting friends, work, church... What else do you do?'

*Thinks hard*
Why can't I think of anything else? It's as if I have no hobbies, no free time to watch movies, not even helping out at home with the household chores. Felt like hiding under the table. On the other hand, it's true. When I'm free, I just spend the time at home. Otherwise, I'll be running islandwide for the various meetings, gatherings, parties... My weekends are almost devoted to church services, hanging around CB area even if I'm not serving that weekend.

Does it matter? Does it matter if I don't have a hobby? Does it matter if I'm not catching the latest movies? Does it even matter? I just need to know who my Master is. What He has called me to do and how I should fulfill those tasks which He has set for me to do. No, it doesn't mean I need to be a full-time church worker/staff. I can still do what I want to, be it drink and be merry, go for a tattoo(but I'm not that interested), dress up and party... Life is all exciting still :)

-

Loud camp 09, coming soon! After the pre-camp yesterday, I've some super aches which left me tired and weak physically. Think I need to go exercise soon to gain some muscles and stamina, and pump up the vitamins. LAVIDA House!

Growing up

2009-05-15T12:31:00.005+08:00

Dwindling savings. Cash-strapped. Mom snapped at me when I said 'You could have given me the money instead of spending it on durians.'

'You should be giving me money.' Uh-oh. It's time to earn my own money and not ask for it. Perhaps that's the difference between twenty and twenty-one. Taking ownership of my life. Does that mean I can sign on the baptism form myself without their acknowledgment?

Oh yeah. It's time to start earning my own. ~~Pocket money.~~ I thought I'd be 'princess' when I'm home since I spend my school days in hall. Shattered dreams. There's not even a birthday celebration for me.(Isn't 21st supposed to be real BIG?)
Ok, you win. Cos you always like to compare others and me. I did nothing on Mother's Day. Fair and square? Perhaps I didn't try hard enough.

Sigh~
No tuition jobs cos I didn't find them. If I did, should I take on an assignment in the East/West? I only have myself to blame for performing so badly in Semester 1 that I have to repeat the courses again in the following Semester 1. Surely there will not be a four-day week for me. I can imagine my five-day week to be super packed.
No temporary job cos my plans(what plans?) will be ruined. I don't even know what I'm having in June, except for the camp and workshops. Am I just going to waste the holidays away? Those who are looking for a full-time job are already having difficulties. I can't commit one month as of today, let alone three months. Perhaps my life will look like it's more in place after today's interview. Only then will I be able to fill in the blanks.

Credits: Eden Photography

LOUD

2009-05-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, I spent it at Sandy's 21st. Next Friday it'll be Isaac's 21st. Next Saturday May is having a birthday BBQ. At the end of the month it's Karen's 21st.

OVERWHELMED.

This Saturday my hall darlings want to celebrate my 21st with me. (: Everything is so rush but I hope it works out.

On Tuesday WY, Ada and I made tiramisu at his place. Great bonding time together. Thank you for delivering the cake to me! With the vast amount of cocoa powder. So yummylicious. I want to share it with so many people but no, my brother has yet to eat it. Haha...

On Wednesday there was a LOUD camp meeting. Planning still in progress but there's so much excitement. So much anticipation. There's really a difference to be in it and not of it. Let's believe for a totally LOUD camp 2009. :D

Dale, you rock. I love your design.

We're BLUE. Oh yeah.

EID process

2009-05-14T12:55:00.006+08:00

The days of rushing... Meeting in the far western end each day before the exhibition. Thank you group mates!

Most exciting week thus far

2009-05-09T23:56:00.003+08:00

Oh, so you mean I just updated exactly one week ago. Those early mornings and late nights have kept me a little less alert, dreamy. Now that I recall how I walk on the road in an erratic manner, I could only thank God that I manage to get home safely every night. Got home from Sandy's celebration and I stared at the road junction. The green fence is still on the ground, broken into parts. While JY drove us home last night, we witnessed the post-accident scene of a car accident, where the ambulance arrived not long after. Treasure life, seriously. Health is important too!

It's been such a fantastic week that I don't know where to start from. On odd days I woke up at 5.45am to prepare to travel on SH's car to JW for SOT! On even days I woke up at 6 plus to prepare to travel on MRT to BL to do and present the EID project. Hey finally this project came to an end. I took some pics of the process where the group was working hard at it. (Pics to be included when uploaded). Just want to thank Eric, WH and Jo for all the time spent together doing the project. We've done it! Although not top 3 nor top 10 but it's the process. I'm just proud of how creative the team is, to come out with a prototype that is totally handmade (from the tanks to the tanker to the trees and of course to the ambiguous control tower). Well at least to recognize the efforts of A, the one who did less than he ought to, but thank you as well. Through this project I made friends like them. There's so much learning involved and it would all be so different if I had gotten an all local student team. Alright, the sacrifice was worth it. The travelling each day made me appreciate my hall more than ever.

Oh yes yes, SOT!!!!!!!! Ya SOT rocks. They were on the GOHS series so I had a full day of BS on Monday (never tried that before), and on Wednesday and Friday the students had practical sessions. It is like practical after theory so they had a chance to actually prophesy over the lives of others, and to pray for people's healing. YJ shared with me that his bro prophesied correctly over his life, while he also prophesied rather accurately on another member in his team. Yeah not to forget he received healing for his eyes so it was just wonderful. (: Glory to God. SH got prayed for and that morning her voice just changed to become so sexy. Yeah she was having a sore throat I meant. But as the day ended her voice became okay. OKAY!! Tremendous experience and exposure. I'm glad I caught something out of the few days. If not for Dot I wouldn't be there (because she wanted to go). If not for SH who e-mailed Ps. Bobby I wouldn't be there (so that I would not be considered an illegal student). If not for KH's final approval I wouldn't be there (thanks a lot!). If not for God I wouldn't be there to catch the vision that He has imprinted in my heart. Divine planning.

Ending it off with this song where I love the chorus - "I just want You Jesus. I just want You my Lord." It is He who gives authority from heaven so that we receive it on earth. Rise up! Working towards the goal of being 2IC... <3

Will dreams turn into reality?

2009-05-02T14:54:00.003+08:00

I want a new room (at home).

For I know I'm already having a room with new furnishings in hall from next semester onwards. During the breaks at the seven-hour meeting yesterday, we saw the workers disassembling the wardrobes, shelves and notice boards, carrying out the desks and dumping the blinds. To think I was hoping for a new chair as it proves to be uncomfortable. But KS says, 'No lah, chairs are expensive.' Uh, aren't desks more expensive? X.X Nevertheless, we can all get ready to welcome new lights and yummylicious furniture! *BEAMS*

Will be off to church in an hour's time to catch Pst Steve Munsey in action. Will he ride on a horse? Alright, probably not but I really wish to see that. =P

After two weeks, my heart is lukewarm. I've tried to think and dream less, be less forthcoming unless there is a need to do so. Pondering who's the right J cos my divided heart is overtaking my mind once again. Blinded and blurred. Will continue to seek Him for signs and confirmation.

The weekends will be great. Next week too! I'm hoping to be there every morning and I've asked for permission but still waiting for it to be approved. If I succeed I think I'll start to dream all over again. Sweet.

Story

2009-04-30T19:06:00.003+08:00

Ripped this off from a friend's blog, author unknown:

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files.

They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Boys I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then with being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird: “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in the exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled At My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done In Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered under My Breath at My Parents. ” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards that I expected. Sometimes there were fewer that I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No on must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to it slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on it handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please, not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands, and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“No!” I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

This afternoon I attempted to continue with the book 'Driven by Destiny'. Every time that I read it, it causes me to really search deep inside my heart, of the things that I've done and not yet done; what I've done, both right and wrong. How is it that there are times when I'm under attack that I can only shudder... Shouldn't I be bold to stand up for what is right? Now that I read through this story(above), I want to dig a hole for myself to bury in. Haven't done enough of what I should do. More time that I should set aside, to spend time reaching out to people. I feel like Saul, one who has a divided heart, doing things with partial obedience. I'm still very me. Adapted from PK's devotion: Partial obedience is rebellion. Partial obedience will lead to self-deception. I need to change. I need to pray.

“Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name” (Ps. 86:11)

EID kills

2009-04-29T16:09:00.006+08:00

A little shocked at this:

Hmm, someone's card? I remember not writing on HT's card this year so perhaps this is it.

-

Just came back from the EID meeting which took about three hours and my holiday is gonna be burnt cos of this. Next Monday to Thursday I will have to travel to school! YIKES! Travel everyday, YIKES! =.= EID EID EID. At least thank God you'll be over in a week's time. After that I can go out with D and K for a meal together before K goes for his reservist! K asks me to start brainstorming for the upcoming team outing which I'm so excited about. Ever since CB had a major change in March, our brand new team 3 has yet to have a team outing together. Time for integration in late May or mid June! WHEEEE.

Now, it almost marks the time that I need to surrender my keys and say byebye to this room that I've occupied for the past two years. Will be back in the next semester! Hopefully with all the new furniture ((:

So byebye to: fan; lights; desk; chair; windows; wardrobe; bed; shelves; soft board; door!!

我还真的没事做 >.<

Post-exams

2009-04-28T22:52:00.005+08:00

My exams are over! Spent the night out at Vivo eating Carl's Jr. with WY, walked about, talked and poured out quite a bit. Thanks for the company man. We changed the fries to the crinkle-cut ones and had a free up-sized drink. Groaned in horror!!!! It's just not my practice to drink a large cup of drinks! But I think after yesterday I really like the free-flow iced tea with lemon slices (: The portion was so big that I felt so sinful thereafter. Oops.

Can't imagine spending the evening in hall if we hadn't met up. Ever since the past weekend, I told myself I'll invest more time in CG and less on myself. Perhaps that can be called a breakthrough. Just praying for more breakthroughs that will come in this coming year!

Packed my room and now I'm left with my laptop, my water bottle and my toothbrushes. The rest has gone home! Can't be more sad to be still in school at this time actually. I thought I'd be enjoying my holidays at home but the EID spoils it all!!! At least I'm thankful I have up till Thursday before I really need to surrender my keys and what's up next is Friday's long meeting in school.

I really hate travelling.

So caught up with all the photo editing last night after exams that I only went to sleep at 4am. Crazy. At least that kept me going. After going to PageOne at Vivo that I know there're so many good books out there. Looks like I ought to drop by again one day, which shouldn't be too far away. I was uploading photos onto FB at 3am. I want to polish up my Adobe software skills! In particular PS and LR. Maybe it's time I start learning AI too. Not to forget PR because who knows, these skills might just come in handy one fine day. Hehe.

HOLIDAY ROCKS. I can just watch, play, surf, do whatever I want!

My God

2009-04-27T02:26:00.001+08:00

I need God to comfort me. Last paper and yet I'm not focusing hard enough. Some things can wait, while some can't! ROAR! He's been so good to me over the weekends already, from Friday to Sunday, giving me such a lovely cell group, ministry friends and how could I forget my family and friends?

Whatever that I pray, He gives to me. Totally nothing to complain.

Come on lah, last lap! For His glory :)

6 “I will give you peace in the land, and you will be able to sleep with no cause for fear. I will rid the land of wild animals and keep your enemies out of your land. 7 In fact, you will chase down your enemies and slaughter them with your swords. 8 Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand! All your enemies will fall beneath your sword. (Leviticus 26)

Love revolves

2009-02-27T23:25:00.008+08:00

I got this from a chain e-mail, which related much to what PK has been preaching for the past two weeks.

Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
...... And so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love....Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

It reminded me of the love bank account, of how one deposits love points and withdraws from the account under different circumstances. If you like this person, you'll add love points into your account. My point is only on the love bank concept. What is your love points under others' accounts? Have you ever thought of it?

-

It was one of the best events tonight, CAEN. So much better than LB. To be a programmer/event-coordinator, it's really not easy. I remember so much multi-tasking. From clueless to brainstorming to numerous meetings to looking for performers to preparation of slides to actual event, it was the longest and busiest role that I had taken on. It's not something that I can rush in a week like doing publicity, but I must say I enjoyed the process. It became even more meaningful when I imagined myself doing CB, preparing slides(though not in KN but PPT). During the WWTBAT game, how I screwed up once for pressing the wrong space and the answer appeared, it reminded me of how I always make ONE grave mistake while serving each week. LB ended with a few people helping out with the clearing up but CAEN had everyone to help out. That's when the bballers came into place. My sports class bballers who were really nonsensical but they helped out when necessary.

People like KS whom I met for the first time, ZH whom I don't know, Colin the one whom I always see nowadays...
The CDs(in addition CJ and Lex) who did such a great job with the decoration and stayed till the end. MJing too much doesn't really matter at that moment. I miss sports.

The ISA(Les, Den, Jus) who took charge of ticket sales and busing were so worried with the not-so-good response but tonight it looked good!

FnB personnel-Chris. Food was great! Too bad I was too busy to have proper meal but the experience was something money can't buy.

Helpers in general... Cass, XQ, Pri(the superwoman fin controller!!)

Door gift by YX and Jess.

Our AV cum Log dept, DH and JY.

Those who were at the reception, lucky draws, beer counter, helping with the nitty-gritty matters. Everyone was fantastic!

Many thanks to the Chairs(not stool/chair), BW, Jess and Les for the hard work.

PH & Jem for taking charge of most of the items and Kev for coming despite his IA.

Of course Jeremy the emcee!

The event didn't cui!! ^^ SO HAPPY~!!!

Best dressed consolation prize leh =P

Quite random

2009-02-20T02:49:00.002+08:00

Suddenly had the urge to blog but yeah. It's always rather random. Came back from supper with XJYZALSYLPRI - 6 of us in a car. I admit I'm lazy because...I wouldn't want to go if not for the car ride. Yesterday I went for supper with another group of friends, MHAMEKSYCKADERPRI - 8 of us in the same car. Oh and the thing is the owner of the car wasn't present on both nights so we just disappeared with his car to the coffee shop. Thank you LES! After the rehearsal in church I arrived in hall looking for food. Maybe it's like the right time that the few of them asked me to join them. It was just too hard to drag me along last night. They pleaded with me for at least half an hour because I gave the excuse of 'I'm not in the mood.'

What is mood?
(noun) a state or quality of feeling at a particular time

'Don't feel like it'
'Sian'
'Don't know'
'Positive/negative'
'Half-hearted at the moment'

Often I feel moody. No, it's not PMS all the time but there's no energy in carrying out a task. If it's out of duty, I'll attempt to do it with a smile. If it's what I like, I put my heart and soul into it. Note: not ALL my heart and soul. Looking at my goals for 2009, there are too many items to focus on that each year I find myself achieving nothing out of it. Ok, bits and pieces but rarely succeed at getting all the pointers done. Surely and definitely, how to feel that sense of satisfaction like that?! Hmm but I enjoy changes all the time. That's how I never get bored yet underachieved at the same time.

So much to do in the 24 hours each day. How to not feel dejected. I look at my friends in Business. They're struggling with meeting project deadline every day, coming back at 2am and continuing at 4am to finish the project. I lack that kind of drive! Well plus it's not like I want to torture my body till so late anyway. It's 3am, not very early either.

Aye tomorrow's gonna be great. Serving in CB is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Hope

2009-02-08T23:15:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow marks the first day of the 'week of prayer', or should I say that it's morning prayer that starts at 6.30am?!?!?! Now Jer is asking me to give him morning call. I guess we've all turned nocturnal and yes, it's tough to wake up in the morning, especially when the sky is still dark. Well, the sun rises from the EAST so don't tell me to watch sunrise from the WEST. Tsk tsk. Over the weekend, each of us received our own prayer book. Man, I really love that. Now it's still rather empty but who cares. I know I'll have tons of prayers to write in there, anticipating the ticks that will accompany the prayers when fulfilled. Nothing beats the joy to know that our prayers are answered.

Hope; 希望.
A search on Google gives so many quotes about hope. We've heard this word so many times on news, read it in newspapers, especially when so many of us have been hit hard by the economic downturn. All of us need some hope, a glimpse of light in the midst of darkness. 若人生中没有了希望，人活在世上便会感到绝望。
When you were young, you wished that you'll grow old faster. You want to watch the NC-16, M-18, R-21 movies. You want school to finish quickly and go out to work and earn your first dollar. When you're old, you wish that you could turn back times and grow younger(something that will never happen). You want to retire. You want to go back to school because that's where you made your best friends. There are fewer responsibilities compared to when you start work and having to provide for your family. We are hoping for something, almost all the time. Hope is like a fuel that keeps our life burning.

Choose hope, reject fear.

Always hungry

2009-02-06T15:12:00.002+08:00

I wish I could eat less, but it's been getting from bad to worse. Supper over the two weeks(no, not everyday but once a week which I feel is bad enough because I don't work out). This morning I started my day with digestive biscuits(think fibre), 鱼片板面(think fish), i-scream yogurt(think strawberry&peach&oreo&white yogurt) xD

School's getting less quiet when v.day is coming, just that I'm not involved this year. Remember the times in canteen mending booth, doing up all the stints and staying back till late to help logistics keep the tables and chairs. Though not totally enjoyable, but it was an experience worth remembering. Like what I tell others, the pre-event is better than the main event. Who wouldn't agree... Haha for the committee who went through it, we can't be more than glad when the entire draggy event ended in Sept08.

Last night I was enjoying my single deluxe room. Well, kinda big and cold at night if not for Amel who came into my room looking for food. Then we spent the next few hours interacting. Previously we already discovered we're from the same primary school. It's a good school, but compared to ABC/XYZ, it may be better/worse.
Slowly getting into the topic of the start of Christian walk. She had a long history of eight years. Guess what, she too started at my church but left for another. Now she stops going as she feels that she can't bring herself to commit to God. Submission = Total commitment? Many seemed to have come and go, and is that supposed to be the norm? If you don't like it, you leave? If you're not giving your best, you quit? Why did I stay? Maybe it's too short to say, but all in all, we both believe that personal spiritual growth is important. Need a breakthrough? Work on your spiritual life. It's your own relationship with God, not the things that you do to please God or even man. I like what JY mentioned to me in a conversation some time back, on having spiritual backbone.

"I pray because it's written in the Bible."
"I pray because my pastors and leaders say I ought to."

How many people will say, "I pray because I want to spend time with God." and "I want to understand His thoughts."

It's out of willingness and obedience. It's not all the time that the leaders are trailing behind and pushing you to move on. Leaders are there to give pointers when you're in need. Good leaders allow you to explore on your own. You then learn to be one yourself. But when you fall, you know you're not alone.

Happy Birthday!

2009-02-05T23:59:00.008+08:00

Dearest Xiaokai's 21st Birthday!

Hugs my dearest. Best wishes in 2009! May you get all that you want in life =D Keep smiling, keep walking, keep shining. Thanks for your lovely friendship and being there with me for the past unofficial eight years.

A rare beginning

2009-02-04T18:12:00.002+08:00

Once again, it's been quite a long while. Recently been creating new accounts, having wild thoughts, adopting a new name(if only it could be my baptism name), updating this blog? Haha totally unusual of me to update this since it lies dormant for super duper long and once in a while I come back and check.

This semester, I've been forced to make myself study the maximum after having attained the minimum. Goal-setting still remains one of my favourite things to do upon ending a year and starting a new one. Wandering in life is definitely not something that I want to do. Having a clear purpose and direction is what I want. But I'm glad to fulfill some items on my wish list despite the fact that we've only entered the second month of the year.

Happy to meet up with JC friends. Happy to see many 4H friends. Happy to own a camera and take many snapshots of my CG. Happy to celebrate my roomie's birthday and walk her to the chalet. Happy to do the director's board in CB although I really messed up ten seconds of it all. Happy to have such wonderful tutors and course mates and group mates. Happy to watch my first campus concert, that features the 'queen' and 'mr humorous'. Happy to go for late-night supper by car and on my 'cars'. It's been such a fun time together. =)

Then again, I need to forgo some other activities. It's fair. Gain some and lose some. Otherwise it's too overwhelming but I keep hoping for the best. Study hard. Understand more. Socialize with people. Stop living in denial. Put a full stop to slacking and procrastination.

Resilience. The process of coping with and adapting to adversity. (Luthar, Cicchetti, & Becker, 2000)

I will bounce back and upwards! Because His hands will lead me.

post ac and sleep

2008-11-26T12:38:00.002+08:00

Have been sleeping in ever since Monday... Until around 11am each day. Haha I figure out that's one good thing about holidays. Each day I'd go over to my grandma's place to instill eye drop into her eye every 3 hours. It's time to contribute and help out in whatever I can before I go back to school.

I remember how I used to think a lot. It got me very disappointed for the past examination period, sensing how much my brain has lost the ability to think and combat those papers. Words like 'persevere', 'hang in there' seemed to be replaced by 'forget it', 'sigh', 'don't know how to do'. Until the last paper on Friday that I wondered what have I been doing for the past semester? Not knowing anything much, not studying till the last few days(not even weeks!), practicing the papers where I should have attempted the tutorials first. Last minute cramming does not help at all. It only builds fear. Now I gotta rethink on how to change my study methods. The importance of consistency. Understanding.

Anyway AC was fun and exciting. On Friday night I joined my cg. The weekends were dedicated to CB. Kel got me to camp inside the fish tank with him, but because my mind was still in a twirl, I felt that I didn't totally catch what I had to learn. Perhaps it'll be better this weekend, to learn directing. On how we were going crazy on Sunday, after the morning session, taking photos on Mac...with Nick, and the night session, the pyramid layout, took photo with pastor. Exceedingly joyful!

Mohr circle

2008-11-20T18:44:00.005+08:00

I have finally understood the...

MOHR CIRCLE!

All the principal stresses and formula left me dumbfounded for my MOM paper. And my eyes refused to look at it(cos Soil has it too but I thought I needed to understand what it was all about >.<). I switched from my Mandopop to P&W tracks on my iTunes. Suddenly it felt as if God has descended from heaven and His Spirit is serenading the entire room. Felt peace in my heart, and next was motivation. Starting munching on the Honeystars and drinking the Vitasoy and MUGGING!

PTL!

Finally get to see shear strength and guess what. More Mohr circles. It sure cracks me up.

noodle feast

2008-11-20T16:05:00.010+08:00

When students study, food must come in handy. Snacks must be within an arm's length reach, and the same goes for meals. However, there's no mummy/daddy/korkor/jiejie/meimei/didi/maid to call upon when we stay in hall. My roomie, neighbour and I are lazy to walk downstairs and pack. Hence the last resort: instant noodles!

Instant noodles can turn out to be very instant.(DUH) We just use the electric kettler to boil water, rip open the noodles wrapper and put the noodles into a container. When the water boils, pour it into the container. We'll mug again while the noodle is cooking on its own. Instant noodles - an amazing food innovation. When the noodles absorbed enough water and turned springy(but soggy most of the time cos books come first =|), it's lunch time!

Actually it's just chilli&ketchup instant noodles. And they complained to bits about the noodles!!! Haha!

Alright, one day to freedom! Then I will be off for Asia Conference as well! WOOTS!

help help

2008-11-17T23:15:00.006+08:00

I need tons of boosters for tomorrow's paper. God, please help!

**Special thanks to Sihui and Dot. For the Godly advices and verses and support. Thanks for reminding me to look nowhere else in times of trouble, but to look to God. No one leads better than Him. No one comforts better than He does. No one heals without His power. He heals!

My testimony!
My left ear is healed! Some days back, I dug out flaky dried wax. On Saturday, I dug out...black stuff. I presume it's blood clot left behind since my op in June'07. No doubt there's always this 'thing' in my ear that gives out an indescribable sound. Actually it's somewhat like those times when there's water stuck in your ears. Now it's OUT! The clot! No more blocked ear! PTL!!

The significance of this testimony lies in that PK asked us to write down what we are believing for on the offering envelope on a weekend about a month ago(should be the one on 'Fourth Dimension'). At that point of time, I thought to myself...This problem has been ongoing for some time and it's such a nuisance. The terrible thing is that I can't shake the 'thing/fluid/liquid' out. At that moment, I had to believe God for a miracle, writing it down. Visualise it happening. There is POWER in what you believe. So keep on believing!

Countdown to AC: 2 days!

reaping back

2008-11-14T13:33:00.003+08:00

Once again, thankful for the opportunity to serve God. But I gotta learn harder on how to study smart and be smart.

Physics went OK, but not the kind to get 'A', seeing how many marks that I failed to secure. While tackling the problem on statics, again I realise how bad my MOM might turn out to be next Tuesday. Till then, I will attempt to salvage whatever I can, just like how it's been done for Physics and I'm actually quite proud of myself for the last minute mugging but happy feeling.

Inspired by Sihui - "There are people who serve during exams too. Why not? Trust God to give you good grades when you honor Him with your precious time."

God is multiplying me back with the time lost, and extra portion of wisdom. Thank you God. =)

first paper

2008-11-13T20:01:00.004+08:00

Sweats. My laptop attempted to commit suicide while I was arranging my notes. If not for the LAN cable, it would have fallen off the desk and crashed onto my bed. Phew~ Managed to catch it in time too.

My physics is only like halfway covered!!! Then I discovered, if I don't practice, I really don't know how to do. But I only have about less than 3 hours left. Exam period is all about later than usual takeaway dinner(thank you roomie), hardcore mugging(short attention span so it doesn't appear as hardcore), numerous snack breaks(hello panda down, mcvities almost down), early showers&bedtime(so happy about this point =)) Anyway today's stats paper didn't go too well. There's this question that came out, asking to name the distribution. Hm was pondering over if it's binomial or geometric. My mind can't fool me into believing it's binomial(cos I seriously don't know how to do a geometric problem but I can do one on binomial), so I penned down geometric and left the question as it is. Bye bye to 25 marks. Maybe I'll get 1-2 marks for naming the series.

I just want to do my best for the rest of the papers.

Pleased with the fact that I have two friends who sat in front and beside me this morning, not forgetting the EC who was so near as well =P The view couldn't get better than this. To add on, seeing EC for almost 4 hours is a bliss.

practice

2008-11-12T15:06:00.010+08:00

While many have had their papers today, mine will officially start tomorrow. Practicing the third stats paper but my confidence level is still not there. I'm stumbling over every question that I do. Perhaps it's time to look back at the tutorials and not just zoom straight into the questions. Been taking too many shortcuts in studies, and also in life.

One thing that I did which I'm proud of myself - Stepping out of the room and getting to the canteen by bus to draw money and buy lunch. However, disaster struck. After alighting from the bus, my slipper strap gave way. I found myself in the middle of the road, wondering if I should cross over by limping or get back to the pavement to fix the slipper.

Plan A: Limp across with a spoiled slipper (FAILED!)
Plan B: Get back to the pavement and fix the slipper, use the zebra-crossing to cross (SUCCEEDED!)

It has been proven. Do not take shortcuts in life.
Thank God I'm still alive by taking such a huge risk.

The fastest, quickest, swiftest, not compromising on the quality. I want things to happen quick. Lack of patience, exactly. That's why I take risk and end up not getting the desired results. If I don't see results, disappointment sinks in. Sadly, I really don't get everything that I want. In fact, the opposite occurs so often that it makes me disappointed most of the time. Think positive, POSITIVE!

"A and B, +++, confidence booster, working stationery&calculator, sufficient time, comfortable temperature, formula and steps, good cloudy weather, happiness out of the hall"

Now submit all of the above into the Hands of the Almighty God...

Colossians 1:9
"For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;"

Back to practicing...

food thoughts

2008-11-11T15:46:00.002+08:00

So thankful to the max that my dad helped me to buy my exam food rations, partially because I requested for the food. And so there's the Honeystar, McVities, Vitasoy, Hello Panda, Sunmaid raisins, Yupi bears. Otherwise it'd be real bored to be all alone in the room, staring at paper and laptop and the door. Sadly, no one knocks on the door in the daytime.

It's been amazing how roomie and dardar can get so hungry after every meal. They ask me, "Still hungry, how?" Of course I always reply, "You just ate, hungry still?" Throwing back the same question at them. It's hilarious. I hope I won't become more like them or my stomach will burst. By the way, I do think of what's up for dinner tonight...=|

Somewhat completed two stats pyp but with reference to the notes and answers. That's why I said somewhat. Gonna change to another course or it'll be another unfruitful day of studying. Can't get over how I spent the entire yesterday looking at that MOM, and yet, not able to figure out trusses. Dejected, dumb, doomed.

This moment will soon be over, and then it's time to catch Madagascar 2!!

Can't wait for all the fun to come! Especially ASIA CONFERENCE!

Song dedication

2008-11-10T15:43:00.002+08:00

Clearing the cobwebs here...
-pulls web-

I can't recall how many blogs I've abandoned. Sometimes the exam stress just kicks in and this is somewhere for me to get distracted for a while and then get back to studying.

Hey Dale, when I listen to this song, I think of what you're going through and it really is for you. The last line applies!

五月天 - 你不是真正的快樂

人群中哭著你只想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢或痛或心動了
你已經決定了你已經決定了

你靜靜忍著緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜就是越傷人了
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深淺淺的刀割

你不是真正的快樂你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界笑了於是妳合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則不是你的選擇
於是妳含著眼淚飄飄盪盪跌跌撞撞的走著

你不是真正的快樂你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂你的傷從不肯完全的癒合
我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了然後才後悔著

你值得真正的快樂你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什麼失去了還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓悲傷全部結束在此刻重新開始活著

Pick yourself up! =D

today

2008-07-15T19:37:00.001+08:00

Change of programme: Submitted & paid
Status: Pending

This will be lifted up to God. The only things that I can do is to fast and pray...

PRAY!

Back to school to settle some matter today, and off to hall. Everything looks quite the same, except for the cleaners. I was sitting in the TV lounge, watching some shows, including this very old “播音人”... So retro! Anyway it's a long walk from SSC to Hall and then I realise ADM building is really very "chio". Bought a charging cable for my phone and after a few clicks, I realise I was overcharged!!!!!!! Haiz. Dinner time ciaos.

same role, new challenges

2008-07-11T13:30:00.001+08:00

Sat: Announcement & Sermon
Sun: P&W

I'm still looking forward to the day of being a director!

Anyway anyhow, finally settled the event flyer that I've been working on for weeks, since it's been rejected and modified quite a bit cos of my childish nature. Real pictures, not clip arts and cartoons. Oops. Now hopefully everything falls in place nicely... With the backdrop, flyer, (poster) done, now just the website. Relying on Sly to get it done and Pub's will be able to move on to event decor! I seriously can't handle that part alone, yeah man.

Last Wednesday also met up with the GLs for a briefing, brainstorming and fun session talking crap. Of course, we ended off with a not-so-productive cheering session to end it off. JH the turtle has sent us all a cheer sheet! Brilliant! Now we don't have to rack our brains but to reuse most of the past year cheers. Nah who says... We still need some fresh new cheers to suit the wondrous and highly creative theme set by the committee haha. Counting down... Less than 3 weeks to FOC! WHEE!

Clean + Dirty = Fun

a heart of thanksgiving

2008-07-07T13:32:00.001+08:00

There are always numerous things to thank God for, as simple as the following items: a day of sunshine, water to drink, clothes to wear, food to eat, and spectacle lenses that don't crack overnight while I sleep. Haha... Just like how my 1.5 months Nokia phone is doing well. Other than it flickers at times, at least it didn't auto shut down. When my music player is playing, the tracks don't skip like some users are experiencing because of the design of the back cover that doesn't clasp the memory card very tightly. Nothing much to complain about that. I love the 2.2" inch LCD that's crisp and clear.

GL meetup session has been settled. It'll be a good time of gathering and to be able to catch those who're now in the neighbouring Malaysia but are coming back in time for this meeting. Counting down, where FOC will officially start in 3 weeks' time! Get HIGH man. =P I'm expecting 90% attendance! (: Meanwhile really need to crack my head on what to make for the group identities. It's hard to stick to our budget if I want to make 'that' haha...

It's time to get started on the flyer! Meow.

conversation revealed

2008-07-06T18:58:00.001+08:00

Yeah I know I haven't been blogging and not even checking my tagboard. This is so me. = Anyway just felt the need to come back and type something cos God has been leading me into some really strange events that has happened over the past week.

Like how hard I prayed not to get into EEE, I really didn't, and was streamed into Civil. After which a few days after service that Kel asked me what am I going to take next semester, of which I said Civil. "Huh, why not appeal to Materials?" On the night that the results were out, I knew that JH appealed to Materials. I sms JY to ask him what's the lowest GPA in Materials. It's equivalent to my own GPA. At that point of time, I could hear this *piang piang* sound in my mind. I also sms SP to ask her if one doesn't like Phy/Math, what's the survival rate in Civil? Her reply: Die lah. JT suggested that I appeal to Materials after knowing that I've gotten into Civil, cos he knows that I'm not a Phy person. The deadline to change course is on the 15th. Should I or should I not?

It's been a busy week, full of appointments, exams, meetings, briefings and etc. Luckily I've stopped working and that really is a plus point. On the other hand, it only means no income for the past weeks of slacking. So I embarked on studying, attending the various meetings to make myself feel used. LB, FOC, church. God has enlarged my capacity to do what He knows I can do, and I guess I can handle what has been given so far. Inasmuch I'm looking forward to school, being bombarded by numerous activities at one time is no fun at all. I think I'll start missing the TV, the freedom, the slacker life that I'm enjoying right now. LB, and that's where the creativity comes in. Design! It leads me to think about my CG. One common trait amongst us - artistic. We're just artistic in one way or another. Look at the number of the members taking art, design, having a flair for making crafts and art works, drawing and etc. Talents and gifts. Being in the same CG produces the same "breed". Haha... Next FOC. ZC asked me to go down for a briefing with him yesterday. Only when I saw JY today that I realised it's because everyone was busy. Ended up I was the only GL who turned up. Never mind, put that aside. Just glad I went down to listen to what has been said. It helps in such a way that now I know how the programme flow is like, what to expect, what to prepare, how to engage the rest of the GLs. I hope to meet up with them all soon, and pray hard for all to stay in the group. Church. Let's start with CG first. A number of things happened. One left, another joined, but all the rest remained. The last meeting was awesome. When times are bad, encourage one another. When times are good, we all celebrate together. After missing so many meetings and going for makeup, 'home' is still the best. That's what I can say. Just like what I've shared, very thankful for the opportunity to rise up in CB, being picked and chosen to be groomed by Kel. There's still a lot to learn, definitely, both spiritually and on leadership skills.

God has made my dreams and visions come true. In the past, a long time back in Pri sch, I wanted to be a prefect. In Sec sch, I wanted to be a student councillor. In JC, I wanted to be part of the house committee, and also a captain of my CCA team. Nothing came true. Instead, I was assigned to take attendance in Pri sch, a monitress in Sec sch, an OGL in JC, and an ordinary senior in my CCA. Nothing too extraordinary. Now that I'm recalling back to where I started out as a pupil who helped her teacher to take class attendance, these are little stepping stones, allowing me to become bolder, to whom I am right now. In Uni, organising outings and gatherings, becoming a GL, joining the main committee of LB, having intention to do more in the year to come and taking up more leadership roles that I've ever imagined. The goal card 2008 is coming alive, like how a genie came out of the magical lamp. So this is the first revelation I call it, on leadership.

Secondly, networking. How I got introduced to Geoff to take the exam, and allowing myself to be 'brainwashed' into thinking how great a life planner is gonna be. I'm still not fully convinced about meeting quota, and let's just put it this way. Hmm then one night God told me to approach these two people and get into touch with them once again, YQ and JR. It's really time to engage and pluck into the lives of these two people. Over the weekend, I sms YQ and we had a good sms conversation, and right now on msn, JR and I are chatting since the year 2003? Not sure what it's supposed to mean, maybe it's a chance to sow into their lives. Oh God, open my eyes to see, and my ears to hear, the crying of the lost out there.

Here I end my super long post. Haha I'm expecting more to come this week. Design! Rise up! Engage! To Him be the glory (:

n283

2008-05-15T14:21:00.001+08:00

我可爱的小组

Thank you Mr Chang for injecting so much fun on the first day that you join us!
We love Dale =D

night class

2008-05-15T00:25:00.001+08:00

Any questions? No? Please close your book.
Maria asked the class for the 4 mechanisms of risk management. Watergirl named it out "Avoid, accept, transfer, control".
Next she asked for the examples to each mechanism. Jess mentioned avoid, while Mindy, transfer.
Choices left: accept and control.
And I couldn't answer at all.

Now I'm feeling hungry. Craving for apple pie. How I miss hall especially during the study period where there'd be people studying at library till 12am and I'll have apple pie for supper. Now I have to go to bed with a half-empty stomach.

So yummy

birthday lesson

2008-05-14T16:03:00.001+08:00

Old habits die hard. Although exams are long officially over this semester, this module on "Capital Markets and Financial Advisory Services" is a big challenge. The closest subject that could be linked to it is Economics, but not totally. Worse still, I'm no Business student and it's like "What is this?" for almost every page in the text. Sigh, that reminds me of how I prepared for my psy paper, especially the mcq section. Do until I can spit out all the answers. The class is starting at 7pm later and here I am struggling to finish reading the first 7 chapters. Then I tried counting down to the number of days before the exam. 14!!!!!!! Time flies lah argh. Obviously I am quite turned off by the 40 odd pages in Chapter 6. The rest of the chapters only consisted of less than 10 pages. Nevertheless, by hook or by crook, I will finish the last 2 'compulsory' chapters before 7pm, yea!

Last night we had a mini birthday celebration for Sandy ( : Yingy hid it from her till we arrived and at first I asked her why didn't she suspect anything amiss, and her answer was "I thought it's just another normal meal." We went to MQ's BB. Hmm it doesn't sound like a place that I frequent for a 'normal' meal. OF COURSE there's something going on. Perhaps I grew up on hawker/coffee shop food, better option: food court. Lol. MX, watergirl and I turned up with a cake, and surprise!

Happy belated birthday!

Why didn't we take any group photos? >.<

I felt so sinful having the breaded fish&chips, plus strawberry cheesecake for breakfast. I'm growing fat again, cheers.

loud camp

2008-05-13T11:49:00.001+08:00

I'm not missing out this, for sure. Last December it was hard to get over it, for not being a part of the entire camp. He touched me. No doubt He'll touch me once again. JOIN ME!

2nd to 4th June 2008 ( : Register now!

redang 2008

2008-05-12T18:48:00.001+08:00

Brought nothing back but photographs, so enjoy! xD

Departure

Ferry terminal (My camera froze)

Arrival at Redang

Redang Bay (Room)

Day Scene

Snorkelling

Redang Bay (Outdoors)

More More Tea Inn

Night Scene

That's rooms 4&5 for you!

the change

2008-05-12T17:23:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon a blog of a fellow church member. Oh yes the church is so big that I wouldn't know the person except that she's as old as me, and received Christ roughly two months later than me. Hey it impacted me a lot. In her post dated roughly two years back, it was written like this:

im still so lyk a indecisive n blur ger im so not mentally prepared to take up der responsibilities of a christian not say to even hold der title of christian i dont recognise mieself as a christian until a day i truely open to god i realli dun care how mani ppl there regard mie as christian i noe im still not one. lastly, i wanna ask. i tot christianality is FREEWILL?! okie. drop tat. it troubles mie.

But look at the change in this person right now, in a recent entry:

I see the burden you have carried always. Receive My Peace. Receive it. Receive the serenity that is about to come. Receiveee. Save the members of My family and I will save yours. Your mother's household will turn their faces to me, your father's household will turn their faces to me, and your husband's household shall all be saved. The medium, who brought you to me, he will also walk back to me. But behold. There's always a price that you have to pay, a sacrifice that you have to bring to me. I want your Youth, the days of your life before before you turn 21. In the years to come, you will have to go through trials and tribulations that you might have heard of or that you might not expect. But run with the vision of your loved ones getting saved; That I will fulfill My promise in your life too. ♥ This heavy burden, I know its lifted up in good hands. I couldn't be more thankful. Its not of human wisdom of what is to come. But Father, I trust that You have alr brought me and my family to the land You promised. To the land of overflowing milk and honey. I love SOT. A place where I get to know God even more :)

SOT. WA! During one of the nights in hall, the few of us spoke of it but we all felt that the time is not right till we graduate. Or rather, perhaps the time is still not right. God hasn't spoken to my heart. I feel the need to pray. Pray in order to communicate with God. Without prayer, it's like not having air to breathe. Let me suffocate for all the times that I failed to pray then. Only give me the air when I pray. I NEED revelations.

zc birthday

2008-05-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY ZHICHAO!!!

This post is dedicated to you only... Wow. To think that I'm in Redang right now and I had this planned out before I left, haha. I still think that you're smart. Aww... And hardworking. Aww -_- Let's hear some history... ZC wasn't known to me till Von told us our CGL is by the name of ZC and I wondered: WHO IS HE?!?!?!?! This weird guy who attempts to trick the freshies upon entering his room thinking it's a female toilet. Oops. Secret uncovered. This guy whom we finally caught after we knew that we had to do canvassing. (SAD face) The first time that I saw him... Alright, quite tall, quite skinny, not familiar at all, still. Haha I still couldn't believe he is a resident in the block. It was only till Seniors' Camp when this group bonded together. We had a lot of fun, despite being a quiet group. Though I must say it should be slow-to-warm-up and not as quiet as we seemed to be. After the camp, we had new additions into the group as some also departed from us. My enthusiasm level was high and decided to come up with dinner or supper nights and this continued for quite some time. Sadly, the response wasn't as good as expected and exams soon approached. Times of ups and downs. Now that holidays have started which means the new semester will soon...(not so soon I pray) come, it'll be another round of fun, fun and more fun together as GLs.

After such a long paragraph only on FOC stuff, I haven't even wished him! Hey you... =X So rude. Zhichao, it's been nice knowing you, your humour, intelligence and liking for red have stunned me quite often. You'll be off to some faraway land next semester and I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself a lot. Well, here's wishing you the best birthday ever. In the few months to come, may you prosper and be tremendously blessed in your health, studies, relationships with people, finance etc etc. In other words, hope you will really get what you desire!

51 rocks. HAHA xD

training new members

2008-05-04T16:16:00.001+08:00

Serving the Lord has never been more fun than being in CB. 4 new additional members to Kel's team and it was simply a privilege when he called me to help out with OTJ training for them. As usual we had to turn up at the area earlier to practise with the musicians and BVs and I was called to teach Van and SP what I was taught when I first came in. Counting... My official 4th & 5th students ( : God gives me challenging tasks to train up new members which I willingly do it for His kingdom. Taught them the controls, explained the procedures, our purpose for having SB and MB and not to overlook SB cause it is equally important as MB! They got to try out during the practice session, one worship song each and not bad for the first attempt. Initially there'll be some glitches here and there, like scrolling too fast and wrong pacing but after some guidance it turned out well. And I'm very proud of WM too. Sooner or later he'll be the next leader to guide the younger ones along. Being a team leader/IC is not about being more pro than the rest-fast fingers, well-versed in the songs, quick to respond... These are essentially necessary but the past few messages are very much relevant to what we do. We need to PRAY. P.U.S.H.!!! I like how PT links push to P.U.S.H. Seriously, if the Holy Spirit doesn't help us along the way, who can do things to God's standard? Don't forget His ways are higher than ours. Thank God for such a great Helper. Back to serving... So yesterday I was attached to SB, today I was doing P&W at MB. I did stress myself somewhat to ensure that I was in tip-top condition. Prayed along with the congregation during PSPM and it unlocks the spiritual realm. It felt easier to flow with the song leaders, and my fingers were doing a great job except that I made one mistake (luckily I moved on instead of getting stuck there...), helping to look out for any slides that needed to be flashed. I love working as a team, fighting fire together. Super exciting when we're all stressed inside the container while others won't be able to see it outside. The pressure is halved, for everyone shares the stress. The joy is doubled when all things go well. We get closer because everyone has a common vision that is to serve with excellence, nothing less. One word to describe the CB family: LOVED <3

In a few hours time I would be taking the coach with the rest of the OEC people for our Redang trip! WAHAHAHAHAHA. There is excitement in the air. But can it not rain now? -_-""" Yeah yeah so I need to finish packing my bag cos my parents keep nagging at me at the half-packed bag. Be back for photos!

-AWAY from 4th May to 7th May-

a day out

2008-05-02T23:28:00.001+08:00

Today I spent a great deal of time trying to open the bottle of new lenses! In fact the chicken essence bottle is easier to open than the tight air-sealed aluminium cover. Until I googled on the web that I realised the dumb dumb me used the wrong method to open the bottle.

-_- -__- -____- -___________- -________________________-

Luckily it was pry opened using a fruit knife and tada, my new contact lens are now wearable. After which it was time to leave for ECP for a day of cycling. Kinda exciting. Yingy and I opted for a double bike while the rest took single bikes. I had zero experience riding on a double bike. Initially yingy took the front seat while the heavier me was behind but we were losing our balance for the first ten minutes. I was reluctant to change seat! But in the end I decided to change or else the rest of them would be stuck at the same spot with the two of us. Lol... Finally the bike was moving, slowly picking up speed and the next moment we were riding so quickly. I think I'm a better controller, a faster peddler, and the heavier person ought to be in front anyway. After riding from Area D to Area A and taking a U-turn to Area F, with a U-turn back to Area D, we completed the route in 1.5 hours. The rest headed to Area G and came back so much later, leaving the two of us with more than enough time to take pictures. But yingy's camera was spoilt, so there was a big black patch above each picture.

L: a desperate attempt to find Mic's belongings. R: a beautiful scene of ECP.

Last but not least, the person with big&small eyes. Don't zoom ok.

Why am I going to be an engineer but not a nutritionist?! It feels like a waste when I'm so particular about what I have on my plate. After cycling we had dinner together at the McD restaurant, sadly. SW and BK were outnumbered since McD was just in front of where we stood. I hesitated for a moment before ordering. The rest were sharing their meals either because one doesn't want fries or another didn't want drinks. There's no way for three of us to share with 3 burgers and 3 drinks and 0 fries. In the end, I bought a Happy Meal - cheeseburger, cup corn, low-fat, high calcium milk. Healthy? Compared to the wings and fillet and fried potato strips=fries, I think I'm having the healthiest option of them all. I really live up to my name. In school, CQ calls me the healthy girl. Even jojo commented on my meal before I started eating. Still, there are times when I eat junk food too.

Healthy Eating Tips

Start your day off right!
Eat a variety of foods
Eat more fruits & vegetables
Eat less fat & foods high in fat
Watch those snacks
Eat everything in moderation.
Maintain a healthy body weight and feel good
Drink plenty of fluids
Get on the move
Start now! - and make small changes

Credits: Nutrition. Refer to this website for more information. ( :

higher order thinking

2008-05-01T11:49:00.000+08:00

Was too tired to blog last night. The only topic in my heart is 'Money'. Only till yesterday that I understood how important money is and without money you will cry. For the first time, my dental appointment took 1.5 hours. For the first time, I met up with two experts to discuss my possible career path. For the first time, my heart was slit and bled as if I needed a blood transfusion (just an analogy). $1.3k instead of $100. I was crying in the cubicle after paying $500. Madness. Another $800 to go. I haven't even earned a single cent. Where the heck am I supposed to raise that sum of money? Say 'bye bye' to the handphone and camera and what's not. Looking at my depleting savings. The interest is already so pathetic and now the savings are going to look real pathetic too.

Too many things that happened yesterday. It's certainly not by chance, but it has opened up my heart and eyes to want to see this world. When in the world would I have thought that I'd be working PT and studying PT, of course serving God FT. I'm one year away from the legal age of 21, and it's time to step out of the comfort zone and do something about my life. Once again be reminded that 'Life is not a bed of roses, especially when you follow God'. You're bound to receive some time bombs at some point in life, and they love to explode all at the same time. It's then a test of putting your trust in God.

We went to Sketches - Pasta and Wine Bar for lunch. Hmm... So I could actually design my own pasta? Sweet! Had a very creamy plate of penne with only my favourite toppings, garnishes and lots of grated cheese. However I didn't finish the food not because it wasn't yummy. It was too filling having a set meal with the mushroom soup and also a dessert which came from Geo's set lunch - Tiramisu if I'm not wrong. Thumbs up!!! The dessert was super appetising. Watergirl helped me with the big glass of lemon tea. Less sugar in my body! What a pity I couldn't take pictures of the food. I think I'd make a second trip down someday when my pockets are fuller.

What a surprise... I saw Nic with some young boys at EP. He actually agreed to travel all the way for Raffles Place to EP which I think isn't worth it cos the food at EP isn't very appetising. Glad to have a really short chat with him, knowing that he's been retrenched and is going to book in this coming October. I'm so evil hehehe. I might consider sending you off, Nic!

So it's Labour Day today, and happy holidays to all! Have a good rest, be recharged, and off you go for the next few months before another public holiday comes by. I've lost track. It's the school holidays anyway, woohoo ( : It's the collection day! I'll be getting my contact lenses from my seller Jo and tomorrow I can wear them to go cycling! Day out with some of the hall girls and it will surely be fun ( : I can't wait to have cgm and it'll be a time to get soaked in His presence!

Wonder if I'll look this cute =P

credits: secreteyes.org

Off to watch the unfinished dramas, and playX3! Before I hit the 300 odd pages textbook, haha...

streaming

2008-04-28T17:14:00.000+08:00

After months of deliberation and having a confused mind, SH's unrelenting advice of getting me to pray for visions and directions from God struck me real deep in the heart. After nights of crying out to Him, God showed me the way.

This is most likely my finalised plan till 11 June. After which, wherever He leads, I will go.

Answer me speedily, O LORD;
My spirit fails!
Do not hide Your face from me,
Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.
Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
For I lift up my soul to You.

-Psalms 143:7-8

This is uncanny, for my original 4th choice (in 2007) turned out to be the 1st, and 2nd+3rd choice didn't become my 1st. Haha xD xD

blows candle

2008-04-27T21:57:00.001+08:00

I'm TWENTY! This means I'm as wise as can be. It's not about being older. So those who are still in their NINETEEN, stop saying I'm old. >.<

On my birthday, my exams ended! Whee. This is called 'Double Happiness'. ( : In the day, I have jojo, desk, lala, cq who celebrated for me at Ichiban. At first we went to BB, sat down and looking at the menu. However none of us was actually interested in the food (too ex and nobody tried before). So we went to Ichiban for Japanese food. That place was even colder than the exam hall until we had to wear jackets while eating. Haha. Thank you girls for the treat. At night it was a surprise. WQ came into my room looking for watergirl aka roomie. Hmm it was an excuse but the usually alert me didn't think so much about it. A few of them appeared with a cake! Guess what cake it is... Two cherries on top, with small pieces of chocolates around the side of the cake. Blackforest, duh. I asked them to sing the birthday song in English, Mandarin, and... Cantonese, where only PH tried to sing. The rest were dumbfounded. It was a heartwarming gathering, and a big sacrifice for some. At least I know three of them were going to have their final papers the following day. So we ate, opened presents, talked a bit because I was reluctant to dance. They requested for a special item but no, I don't know how to dance. Oh and my cell group celebrated for me last Saturday. HT went to see her "husband's" concert, leaving JH to debrief us. It was supposed to be a surprise but somehow JH was so enthusiastic and the surprise turned out rather unsurprising. Thank you to all for such a fabulous time! Not forgetting those who SMSed... All in all, I've received (not much but I'm very contented)... Sandals and a book - N283, Shopping vouchers - CB, White Billabong wallet - Hall people, Tigger&friends jigsaw puzzle - Jason, Ichiban treat - School gang. I can now cross out most items on my birthday wish list!

Now it's time to look forward to unpacking my stuff. I'm HOME! Just brought home my wonderful bags of items from hall and it's giving me a bad headache. I counted around ten bags in total. Err they actually asked if I'm emigrating. -_- 哪里有这么夸张？Whatever it is... These items need to be sorted out, otherwise the floor is cluttered with all my bags. I need an exercise regime. Swim, gym, cycle, just no running. Plus to fix that broken band that will cost $100+/-. I want to cry.

Counting down to the OEC trip! I borrowed a camera from my cousin, thinking it was 5.0MP. It turned out to be 3.2MP. Disappointment, totally. Still looking around for a digital camera to borrow for the trip. If you are kind enough to lend me one, please let me know...-loved-

learn to give thanks

2008-04-18T17:49:00.001+08:00

And another friend has set up a shopping blog... Looks like my friends are all learning the ropes of setting up a business online, which I dare not engage in. Maybe should just remain as customers of everyone and make them happy. When Phy was draining my brain juice yesterday, my fingers just clicked all over the blogosphere to look at the sprees - clothes, bags, contact lenses, accessories, slippers... You name it, I see it. Indeed very tempted to get the NEO lenses. The only drawback is that it's permanent. Given a choice, disposables are definitely more hygienic. Less protein remaining on the lenses and that certainly means less susceptible to contracting eye diseases. Sorry but I'm a hygiene freak. Have been known to use excessive pressure rubbing the lenses that I tore 4 out of 15 pairs. Still, it's not my fault...should be the fingernails, thickness of the lens, multi-purpose solution, blah blah =X After doing a self-eye check, it appears that my degrees have soared again. I just changed my pair of spectacles last year! GRRRRR. It's time to switch to contact lenses again, hoping that the left eye will stabilise or I'll stab myself (just joking). Of course, pray harder not to be so aggressive and excited while cleaning the lenses.

Oh hooray, for exams are coming to an end. I'm one of the lucky few who only have two papers left, since most people have at least three this coming week. Inasmuch I want to enjoy the weekends, there are still materials to study so it only means mild rest ((: Whatever has passed, has passed. No I will not dwell on those papers anymore even if it means having to "打包". Wish myself all the best when the results are coming out. There's a special and most honoured guest who will be preaching this weekend. Also, this will be the opportunity for me to soak in some Korean culture, especially singing in Korean and flashing the Korean lyrics! Super challenging! Kel has organised a team outing tomorrow and I haven't RSVP. If I can clear a certain number of topics for Tues paper, I will be able to go. Otherwise too bad, sigh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that passed away, but never forget to remember the blessings that come each day.

God never shortchange us. When I struggled like crazy with those papers and got really upset over how useless I was (plus the ultra-poor memory), He drops a hint and spurs me to move on to the next question. Somehow I began to write down the steps. Perhaps it was insight. Even though the answer was not obtained, at least the page wasn't blank. Relieved and blessed. ((:

Hopefully this doesn't describe me from next semester onwards. Unable to salvage the quizzes for this semester. Exam marks better pull me up.

I'm going home

2008-04-12T13:33:00.001+08:00

Hello world. I will be leaving pulau ntu for my home. Don't miss me too much cos after much considerations, I decided not to bring home the laptop. SO heavy. =) It's a killer to bring 6kg of books and stuff and another 7kg back. =(

So see ya and have a great weekend! PK is preaching this weekend woo.

deep thoughts

2008-04-11T22:37:00.001+08:00

Life science quiz - flunked! History ought not to repeat itself! Now redeeming myself by mugging hard for psychology using elaborative rehearsal and I truly hope it works and get stored in the LTM. By the end of tonight affective disorders better not bug me too hard.

After the quiz we went for breakfast, of which I had OCK's yam feelin' - which they call it. Love yam! Proceeded to CK's room after that for a short visitation since the next lecture only starts 1.5h later. No matter how high the place is, none can compare with my block, other than the block beside mine. We've got the highest view among all the halls?! That's my assumption. Cos I almost cried looking down from the level 5 balcony. Oh yes, CK's room... It's small! Ok smaller than mine. I keep wondering how come my room seems quite big after visiting other halls. And I like my mattress, my fan, my door? The desk is quite small to my liking but I've already been using it for the past one year. Finished a big packet of Twisties at her place till there was no room for lunch in my stomach. After watching Lala and Desk eat their lunch, we went for a stock-up spree at the supermart. At the end of the spree, there's now a big hole in my pocket. Jojo is nowhere better =\ We both bought quite a lot!

No doubt I won't starve in my room. HAHA!

And this is my favourite... Horlicks!

Last night we realised it was the official last day of school... And the last day in hall in a way... Sigh. My neighbours came over after I brushed my teeth, around 2am?! Took some time camwhoring with Pooh's family. After they left I started my own camwhoring session. And here I pose...looking sleepy, real sleepy already. Nice eyes >.<

And I love my Tigger!

stress

2008-04-11T01:28:00.001+08:00

ser is lonely; ser is tired; ser is hungry; ser is sleepy;

stupid life science >.<

ser cannot take it anymore!!!

Good night friends! =P

Birthday season

2008-04-10T01:31:00.001+08:00

My right eye is still swollen, oh darn. 2nd day, going on to the 3rd day soon. Perhaps the sleeping hours got to increase. Anyway roomie suggested getting a cake cos I didn't know what to get. So I went to get a slice for J who's celebrating his birthday today, 10/4. Put it in WQ's fridge so that it will still be fresh till today. Guess what... He returned home in the evening. I almost fainted. Boohoo. No more surprise nor anything...

HAPPY 22nd JASON! It's been a good year in the same hall cum block (: And being so ever-friendly to offer printing services using your roomie's printer, haha... This cake is for you! (but it ended up in my stomach for some good reasons...)

Had a lunch gathering with the t-t girls after an unsuccessful one last Thurs due to the stormy weather. At first we wanted to try CP but it was absurd to wait for 30 minutes when our stomachs were all growling madly. SW was even worse - never-ending queue. And OCK finally opened! Anyway, we ended up trying out the Western cuisine at The Palette. Can't give very good ratings though the pricing is considered reasonable. Chicken was so-so, soup was rather alright, latte turned cold oops, and the worst was the potato wedges. SALTY to the max! Why am I always served salty food? It's the same story with M's fries. Subsequently when I eat in school, I never fail to order fries without salt. Still, I could spot the salt crystals on the "salt-less" fries. At least the salt content decreases by 70% compared to a normal packet. Thank God. Too much sodium is bad for the heart yea... My heart is working harder than my brain. Back to the topic... Lunch was great! A time of fellowship or better known as TCSS session. I mean I always get to see MQ, and another is my roomie. Just that L is usually less seen by me. Felt bad letting her wait for us three cos of the eating speed, heh. Never mind, she woke up late in the first place. Still I miss these girls. We got to hold such meetings more often!

Oh yea the birthday wish-list! It's like a birthday season this week so might as well mention what I hope to receive:

Digital camera - perhaps the Fuji F50fd
Mobile phone - a N6500 slide or what comes along the way
Slippers - Havaianas and/or from Ada's online shop
Wallet - not too fanciful
Bag - able to fit A4. Camel/black/red
Christian books - Max Lucardo's
Tigger toys are welcomed!

5 days to exams!

stupid dental

2008-04-09T01:31:00.001+08:00

The clinic manager found fault with my oral hygiene once again.

"Girl, you need to brush properly you know... See the plague? And your gums are a little red, must brush properly! Did you floss your teeth? No? Cannot... Must floss ok, if not the plague will start to attack your gums. Please learn to floss. Come, brush your teeth first..."

Fourth time already... Ever since the first time I met her. The previous batch of nurses/assistants has never complained on my oral hygiene at all. Yeah I mean AT ALL. Argh. Dr. Lee has never told me to floss cos I always assume that the interdental brush would do the trick. Obviously the clinic manager doesn't agree with me. So I had to brush my teeth for the 4th time(and it's 4th, again)... How can my gums not turn red after brushing three times, and now she wants me to do it for the fourth time. RAHH! Before that another assistant allowed me to choose colours! Finally I had the chance to do so after having clear ones for the past few months. Guess what... I chose HOT PINK. Gosh. A few hours later I found my teeth looking a little weird, with pinkish liquid? The colour runs... Furthermore, the gums look as if they're bleeding cos the hot pink is too striking, almost similar to red.

Not too gross? Oops.

After which I spent four hours mugging at the Mac near the place. o.O Did you just see the word 'four'? I should go and buy 4D tomorrow. =X

Back to my Maths... Wow. It never gets done, somehow, somewhat...

Bored and whimsy

2008-04-08T00:48:00.002+08:00

Happy belated birthday ALVIN ^^

my future

2008-04-07T20:20:00.001+08:00

It marks the official opening of 3 particular fast food chains at Pulau NTU, namely M(the red&yellow guy), S(emphasizes 6g of fat) and CP(2 for 1, isn't it familiar). As usual, the first day is always flooded with curious people who want to try out the food. Actually JP also has the same fast food. Now that we have them in school, that will mean a dip in business at JP. Aww so sad. Yingy, watergirl and I take no interest in joining the pioneer batch of customers and decided to go to another canteen for dinner. To my horror, the portion shrank. Skipping lunch ain't a good idea cos I usually end up eating more. >.< After which I ordered an ice-cream waffle and ate heartily till my stomach couldn't take it. So filling!

Anyway SH and I had a conversation after service yesterday. She's really easy to talk to, no matter on serious matter or merely crapping. Was telling her I'm really glad to be part of the CB family, my spiritual ground. If not for CB, I may have already backslidden, so you see, CB matters a lot to me. It's the place that taught me to not settle for anything mediocre for excellence pleases God. Coincidentally, this weekend's message was on "Thinking with excellence", which complements with our values. Moving onto my studies, like what is happening in my life... The choices that I need to make but have yet to decide where to go. For the past year, I've been thinking of what to major in, like Civil/Envir/Elec/Mech, of which I thought I wanted Envir at first. But after some time, Mech seems to overpower Envir cos it seems more general and job scope might be wider. The specialisations also look more interesting, because of the one on biomaterials. Also there was rumour on the very few number of vacancies left in Envir. After talking it through, I knew the answer wouldn't come out from her mouth. Then again, she told me to pray about it, which I felt was essential so that I could be led by the HS to make my choice. After much thoughts and a desperate prayer last afternoon, I feel more control over what's going on - a direction that I ought to move towards to.

ENVIRONMENTAL ENGINEERING!

So be it!

So now I gotta work harder on my core subjects, and also the electives. Till then...

drastic change

2008-04-05T01:47:00.003+08:00

The past two days have been quite a rush till the point that they really drove me crazy. Now my MSN nick says "schizophrenia; disorganized thinking". Test stress has driven me insane. What about exam stress... >.< Physics quiz was totally bad, yes bad. With 4 MCQs and 1 structured questions, I still found it tougher than the previous one with 3 MCQs and 2 structured questions. Cannot lah. Wake up, wake up! While attempting to prepare for a Psy taboo game, I was picking out the words in the glossary section of the textbook, only to realise today's tutorial isn't totally on the game itself, but we went through exam questions in the first hour. I forgot totally about it! Past year exam questions? Preparation for class? Feel so down during the two full hours in the room. Had a hard time concentrating in class with insufficient sleep.

Studying won't get me 'A's. The trick is to study smart, be consistent and hardworking. Obviously such a practice hasn't been adopted that now it gets panicky with 10 days and counting down...

But really thankful for the Word during CG meeting tonight. It was truly a word in season, a word from heaven. Although it's entitled "Praise is a sacrifice", it's the content that enlightened me, especially this verse from the Bible...

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
-Psalms 23:4(NKJV)

The tangible presence of God was felt throughout the meeting. We spent a great deal of time singing a new song to God, which I felt was very well-implemented by HT. For myself, I took a step of faith to switch from singing in tongues to singing in words, something that hasn't been done before. Despite a small attendance rate, the whole meeting was definitely one of the best in my 2.5 years walk. Now I'm empowered to move on. Even though it's racing against time, He who is greater in me is greater than he who is in the world. If I focus on what I need to do, I can do it! After all, SH once sent me an SMS saying I've been faithful in serving. The same anointing shall be upon me when I mug!

Now it's a totally different feeling from last night. WOW. And I shall end here... No more schizophrenia; disorganized thinking. Full stop.

series of events

2008-04-02T00:38:00.005+08:00

This week seems to pass very quickly. It's already Wednesday! 2 upcoming tests and endless lectures and tutorials. At least I managed to clear some of the overdue and new tutorials and that is extremely pleasing and heartening. I ought to give myself a pat on my back. Looks like the self-discipline is kicking in, or is it because the desk is 10X neater in hall than at home. Lol.

Anyway it was April Fool's Day but luckily wasn't fooled today. Self-declared holiday again. Haha =X Was glad to stay in the room, washed some clothes, mopped the floor, cleared some tutorials, watched videos, slacked a bit. For most, it gets more relaxed after the first two days whereas for me, my peak periods are on Wed and Thur with those early morning lectures. Yeah I know it's not like I can slack throughout the week. It's not right to do so. There's this "MUST-ATTEND" lecture for me tomorrow, haha, yingy knows why. My favourite lecturer with a bow. It's getting late and I ought to turn it. Late nights and I'm screwed the next day. Though for many, they seem to sleep later as exams are nearing. I'm just the opposite, as usual.

On Sunday I got to meet up the JC gang. Very blessed and fortunate to organise this gathering. We've been wanting to do so but our schedules clash totally. Some in NUS/NTU/NYP, aiyo. Every one takes different courses too, that we hardly meet for lunch either. So we decided to meet up for sushi lunch at Kallang Leisure Park. Guess who we saw... Taiwanese boyband Energy! It's a total coincidence. No although I'd like to plan for such events to be held in conjunction with the gathering, but this time round it's a total coincidence. So exciting. We actually caught their sing&dance from where we were - Nihon Mura's restaurant, next to the glass panel. Awesome! I meant we ate a lot, talked quite a bit, watched free show. It was really good to see them after such a long while. Friends should really catch up with one another once in a while. Hoho, the next time should be around my birthday HA!

This is the stage: Kinda blur but what to do... I took it on the way up the escalator. Those kids aren't Energy, like duh. They're the audience who were attending the Chicky Club event. I need to get a camera before the overseas trip. I want I want!! MQ advised me to get a Canon/Panasonic which I agree. Perhaps Fuji isn't a smart choice. Maybe a Lumix... There's this model that costs $300 odd ((:

Alright, it's 1 a.m. SLEEP!

change

2008-03-30T01:22:00.003+08:00

I wouldn't dare say that I hate changes. PT preached a sermon on it. Change is inevitable, especially in CB. That's what SH and Kel have been reinforcing in my mind. That's something I've been taught. Still, change is not what I desire. With reference to yesterday's party, I was too shocked at the sight of so many teenagers in my cg. Left me dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. It's true that I'm not a very outspoken person. No doubt I can't play the game of guessing 'Who am I' quick enough to avoid the forfeit. You know, the game that requires you to guess the word(s) sticked to your back. The same incident happened during the hall's FOC last year. Now that I remember... M&m is similar to Pocky or Tic-tac. All damn gross, but definitely memorable.

It's time to put words into actions, with the preparation of exams at the top of the list. Prioritize and put procrastination to a halt. I need to start now, or never! Thank you PT for the message. You always speak right into my heart.

all in a stunning day

2008-03-29T01:42:00.003+08:00

It was a totally stunning day. Woke up before the alarm rang and before I knew it, it was time for school. Physics lecture was hard to catch, perhaps it wasn't a good idea to start with Lecture 2 when I haven't listened to the the 1st. Nothing really links. Had to eat lunch alone cos of the makeup tutorial in the afternoon, where the test script also landed up in my hands. To my horror, 42/60. Spoiler. I thought I could secure at least a 48. After that we played a memory game in pairs. Over a series of 9 games, I had perfect scores except for one. The whole class went 'WOW'. Only when the tutor said it's supposed to be played in sequence that I thought to myself, "The results are flawed." My partner and I did not follow the specific sequence. Still, I'm amazed by the results. That just proves that my STM is good, but hard to say for LTM. Ultimately, memorizing stuff should be relatively alright for me, but my concepts become messed up. That explains for the lousy scores during tests. Eh and it better improves by the exams. I wouldn't want mediocre scores. Zzz... A heavy thunderstorm when it was time to leave for the F4 party, till I was late for it. It was offering time. God, I surrender my financial needs into Your hands. The members looked at me rather indifferently, especially the new friends. Maybe I looked more 'new' than them. The last time that I saw the whole group was like...one month ago? Pathetic. Ate a hell lot cos Cass is really a good cook. I love the shepherd pies(so cheesy xD), mango jelly, potato salad, fruits fondue, curry potato bee hoon, and many more small snacks. Forfeit time was the worse. Everyone seemed to pick something more decent than mine. My task was to act as 许纯美, persuading the crowd to buy my broom. My acting is not bad, judging from their reaction. Too bad hall production closed due to some reasons. Aww wasted. I think I do have some talents there. Need to 发扬光大 and I'll achieve more results (: On a lighter note, please don't put me on Youtube. >.< That clip leaves me with no image. When I reached home, my dad told me MOE has granted funds for students between age 7 to 20. That means I'll be getting $XXX sum of money. More subsidies! School fees are so expensive, including all the daily expenses and that simply balloons to an enormous amount. I can't wait to find a job and pay off the debts. Alright it's getting very late and the sleepiness is making me blur. So that's all and have a good night, and weekend! =)

being an undergrad is demanding

2008-03-27T01:27:00.004+08:00

Finally a sigh of relief, or rather, a great sense of achievement. After numerous months, I managed to touch my Physics tutorial(like the 2nd most complete set out of 10). Even though fear may be a good tactic to force students to do their work, it is not necessarily the best method to do so. Right now I am doing it, but imagine a few months down the road... The answer will be an uncertainty. On the other hand, being patient to teach and eager to pass on what one knows to the students will be a better alternative. It certainly will make me feel good about studying than asking me to go and write something on the board. True lah, I think I'm quite a laid-back person. You kick, I move. You don't kick, see my mood. Ultimately, it's my loss if I screw up, and the professors still earn their pay. The problem really lies in me and my attitude and that needs to be changed. PK always teaches us, 'Your attitude determines your altitude'. Yes PK, I will bear that in mind... Especially when the examinations are just round the corner, in 19 days!

Sad... My subjects all quite cui. So 我下定决心，要好好study! The streaming talk kind of enlightened me. In order not to get into the 4th=last choice, I better STUDY!

I mean it. (x3)

While I pray for a course that I should get into... Mech(intended 1st choice)/Elec(intended 4th choice)?

You know that you're happy and you know it

2008-03-24T21:45:00.009+08:00

All in all I've gotten these fabulous stuff:

1) Exam goodie bag - Magazines that range from Her World to Maxim, Uni pens&tapes

2) Exam supper - Donuts and Ribena drink

3) A 2008 diary (courtesy of JQ)

4) $10 worth of Pastamania vouchers for the laptop sticker

5) HAPPINESS (: - something that money can't buy

Even though it wasn't full attendance during the dinner, at least we got to try the $6 steamboat. Not a bad deal after all! I truly love the day!

Before going to school today, I went to check out the camera. Feels solid in the hand but didn't really like the black version. Damage: $499. There's this model Z100fd, looks WOW. Damage: Unknown. Maybe I should go check it out too... 8.0MP, something that I needed. F50fd is 12.0MP, seems quite unnecessary but will be good to own.

Someone questioned me, "Do you really need a camera?" I gave an outright 'YES'. It's been something that I've been longing for since Sec 1.

missing KL

2008-03-24T00:10:00.001+08:00

Need I say anything further...

happiness unrolled

2008-03-23T17:47:00.003+08:00

This is my usual breakfast on a Sunday morning when I serve, bought by my welfare leader, Kel:

With an egg and a ngoh hiang/otah =)

But on this Easter Sunday, the bold and courageous Jo requested for this special menu, and here is my unusual breakfast on a Sunday morning!

HOTCAKES! ^^

What more can I ask for? Thank you GOD! Finally I get a taste of the Mac-hotcakes since 2007 semester 1. LOL! And I came to realise that the hot cakes were so-so. Now wondering why I craved so badly for it for the past 8 months. Humans are weird, especially me. HT and I laughed like nobody cared during the last drama this afternoon. The news video totally made my day! Moon-news...and the Bian-bian. ZS is the best lah! He's so funny. Thumbs up to the drama production 2008!

It's gonna get more foodie this week cos of hall's exam supper. We're having donuts! YES! Finally no more bread - hotdog bread.

digital playground

2008-03-22T16:47:00.007+08:00

Supposed to be studying but erm, as usual, surfing web again. Clicked around HWZ and read the forums on digital cameras and mobile phones. Looks like every handphone is imperfect! Slide phones have scratches on the back or on the keypad, touchscreen phones are over-sensitive and anger most people, 3g phones eat up too much battery compared to a 2.5g. Looks like I should keep to my black and sturdy k750i in the meantime. Seriously there's no good models now. Probably end of the year?

The other part on cameras, a fight between Canon and Fujifilm. o.O. FinePix F50fd looks good for its price. Canon is still the classic quality brand though. The Ixus 860IS or 950IS. But I heard that the lens will become black cos of the carbon or something. For the happiness during hall events and MI events...I want my own digital camera!!!

Good Friday

2008-03-22T00:22:00.008+08:00

Jesus Christ descended to the dead and on the Third Day, He rose again. Today He is still alive, reigning in riches and glory. I'm exceedingly thankful for His mercy and grace, especially on this day that is Good Friday, as Christians all around the world celebrate Easter in their local churches.

Drama in church was good, cos of the concept that's really fresh and new. A hi-tech gadget that stores memories, allowing people to view their past, be it happy or sad events. Other than the idea being unethical since it infringes human rights, it would be something good to have, if let's say, someone loses his/her memory in a car accident and the gadget will come in handy for recollection of events that happened in the past. Technology can make or break? During the first service, I was busy preparing for the second service, so didn't catch the full drama. Only until the second service did I truly comprehend the story and received PK's sermon with much understanding. Message was good. PT also preached well. On the way home, I heard this line 'PT's becoming more good-looking.' Haha, I AGREE!

The first service WM and I did better. Or rather, I screwed up a bit during the second part. Was following the sequence till KW sang a different part from what I was flashing and I was stunned for a second. That's one mistake. Lesson relearned: Play-by-ear. Then came another error which I felt was more grave than the previous: Flashed the line only after the 4th line was being sung. OMG. Total madness! I actually searched for the wrong song. To make things worse, WM didn't help me at all when he knew what the song was. -___-|"""" It was only when I asked him then he told me...Ya, he knew the song and didn't tell me what I needed to know. Such good teamwork leh. Luckily SH didn't scold or blame me, even asking me not to think of it since it's over(which I agree with it. Who wants to think of their mistakes?) I'm very much thankful for such encouraging leaders that I aspire to be like one. Being an encourager. Yea I can be one from this day on. Virtuous cycle!

TIRED! Need to catch some sleep. The 3am-7am sleep hours need to undergo some adjustments or my grades will continue to drop. Oh push it up like a push-up bra please. =X Then there's this test that's coming up next week... Aw...

My phone lagged while sending 10 smses at one go. Is that a hint? You know, Starhub is offering very attractive student plan only for new customers. Been so excited over phone deals this past month. Haiz. Don't they know what is customer retention? Launching into the market to secure a larger market share by competing with SingTel seems hard so they'd rather lose the existing customers and go for the new subscribers. Now the existing customer needs to cancel the old line in order to capture the new line benefits. But I don't wanna pay for a new SIM and registration fee. Yes, unwilling to the MAX man. My wanted list is already making me figure out where to get the money from to get my hands on those. If only I can get picked to win the 1st/2nd/3rd/consolation prize for VC07, since the video advertisement that I voted for won the 1st prize!

Existing vs New
1) 1000 smses vs 2000 smses
2) 100 minutes vs 200 minutes
3) Paying for caller-id vs 12 months of caller-id
4) $0 with free upgrade to USIM vs $36.75 for new SIM+registration
5) Current number vs Change of handphone number
Point 5 is a hassle.

Which is better?

unforgettable experiences

2008-03-21T00:26:00.005+08:00

It was definitely a terrifying experience for me last night. Having gone for the musician practice where only 4 of us were there, I was the first to leave the hall since the travelling bit was too hard to bear. After walking through the backyard of hall one, till hall two there, I discovered that it would be easier and faster if I were to take bus from the bus-stop in front of hall one. Stupid me. So I followed the path and to the quiet stretch of road. Ooh a shortcut! The hypotenuse!

It looks like this:

SHORTCUT - SUPER DARK AND MOIST PATH

I'll make sure I won't walk that way again. The journey to hall one was already a nightmare. As I walked from hall two to hall one, the place was dark and the only sound that can be heard is from the TV. It was so duper quiet and suddenly the TV ad plays and I had the shock of my life. One thing is that there's nobody around. To add on, that mystified sound that came from the TV. Also, the front doors were all locked. I never want to go back to hall one at night again!!!!!!!!!! To my relief, I saw two other members finding their way into the hall too. So thankful that I eventually found my way in through the back entrance. That seriously calmed me down.

And so tomorrow is EASTER!! *beams(:

Putting that aside, it dawned on me I'm a morning person. Yes... That means in the morning, I'm more alert than at any other times of the day, for example, at night. While I'm typing this, my mind seems to be drifting to popo/lala-land already without realizing it. Sleep is kicking in anytime from now. There's this to mention. Being such a lazy student, my lagging tutorials have landed me in deep trouble this morning. Our beloved physics tutor decided to use a new approach by asking each person to either draw FBD or write equations on the board. If you failed to do that, he'll say "You're wasting everybody's time." Oh yea, and not to mention all the other remarks which students wouldn't want/like to hear when it's only the foundation year. Think about this: If you have a weak foundation, how are you going to cope with the advanced levels of study in the future? In order to grasp the concepts right, the tutor plays an important role to both guide and motivate students to achieve results and cultivate interest in the subject. Sadly, my tutor either doesn't understand this or it's really my class. It's our fault for being less smart than previous batches of students.

Rainy thoughts

2008-03-19T16:41:00.003+08:00

It is raining almost every Wed. Aw. When you know that you still have got a lot of undone tutorials, and lagging behind real badly, the rain makes things worse. Cos you know you can't go into lalaland. Grr. Formally skipped marketing class today and spent the time in hall reading the small blue book of 'Rethinking Marketing'. Looks like I'm not such a bad student after all. Oops. Trying to cover up my mistake... Sigh, I guess I really need to sleep on a regular basis, as in the timing is all wrong right now. No more 3 a.m., especially when class starts at 8.30 a.m. the following day? It's possible.

Maths test was alright, since Taylor didn't come out. But I still forgot how to do the quiz question. I need to be grounded. Come on, practice makes perfect! Practise more can... >.< That applies to physics as well. Another 'lagging like mad' subject.

Kel smsed this morning saying there's a musician practice this evening. Felt a little unwilling to go at first cos of the travelling part, to-and-fro, west-to-east. Furthermore, I wonder what time it'll end(knowing it'll most probably start later than the stipulated time), plus tomorrow is another 8.30 a.m. day. At least Fri is off, Good Friday! PTL! Alright lah, the practice is to prepare for Fri's services. Go go go! Now I'm left with one hour to decide if I should have my dinner or not before leaving this lovely cosy room for the big and cold hall in the far east.

KL's leaving for a faraway land in the months to come. I feel numbed.

ups and downs

2008-03-19T00:10:00.004+08:00

Am listening to 家883FM and it's playing this rather emo song: Rainie's 理想情人
Stirs my thoughts to think of the scenes in the <恶魔> show, of how Mike treated Rainie and vice versa. My heart is entangled, again. It doesn't help a lot walking up and down the block, hanging out laundry, then to notice what should be there and yet isn't there. I just wished that time could pass faster, but crap, my maths is still like hanging there. What the Taylor's formula man. And my left eye hurts. Nothing gets better. Even the buses wouldn't come for the past two days. The average waiting time was like 20 minutes.

"Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad."

What can I say other than God is good... Even though I don't quite like the voucher compared to iPod shuffle/Capital vouchers.

life is amazing

2008-03-18T19:19:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I was in such good mood for blogging, on the verge of resetting up a new blog. In the end I didn't but it was alright. At least it's been done now. Time seriously flies in school that I don't know how to describe it. And there's this maths test tomorrow. Grr. Obviously I've been lagging behind again, drowned in that sea of incomplete tutorials. It feels sad. I hate it cos my parents trust me so much; they gave me a lot of freedom and also the permission to go on this overseas trip that might have been impossible. By God's grace, the impossible became possible. And it shall be proven again, in the area of studies, the impossible shall become possible. AMEN!

After this semester there would be the special term, which should be a long holiday for me if not for my friends who are all considering to clear some modules during the S term. I didn't think so much of it. After exams, it's supposed to be holidays? And holidays should be spent on enrichment courses, some shopping sprees, more fellowship with the people around me, and also to find a job to earn some quick bucks! Who would have thought of studying even during the special term... After all, when I pass all my subjects this semester, I'd have cleared 4 electives which is ahead of most people who only cleared 2. Though the minor part does make me worry a little... Additional 3 modules aw. Still, after seeing what is being offered this S term, I'm pretty interested in languages, especially the Korean class. It has been something that I want to take since JC/secondary times, with that Korean wave that struck here long ago. Here's a chance, 'free' cos it's been included in the humongous fees so shouldn't I try to apply for it? After weighing the pros and cons, like inability to take up an office-hour job, it still leaves me unsure of whether to apply or not. It's 50% chance of getting a place in the course anyway. Yea maybe no harm trying. Whether I get it or not depends on whether God wants to grant it to me or not... Korean class/job(extra income)? Hard decision.

To add on, it's a lonely evening today. A totally opposite from last Tues when four groups of people approached me for dinner. It's a total disappointment today with no one is available for dinner. Sigh. But thank you Jesus for my neighbour yingy. She sent me a sms asking if I wanted dinner at the most crucial moment. Becos Easter is so near, many cell groups are actually fasting today and I was so tired that I fell asleep on the bed. When I woke up it was total madness. Actually thought it was morning already -.- Then the hunger pangs hit me, making me so blur in the head, and my head was really spinning very badly. Alas 30 minutes later and came a knock on my door. My bbq chicken set meal!!! It's Korean food, lol. Now I wonder if there's any link between the class and the food. Gobbled it up immediately and now I feel so contented and satisfied and I can only say 'Thank you JESUS!' and also to yingy(:

Now OEC is confirmed. Korean class is unconfirmed. Year 2 streaming is unconfirmed. MY prayer frequency needs to go up! And I'm all excited for the Easter production. My head is no longer spinning, no dizziness. Clear in the mind! WOOHOO.